


Love is More Than Just A Dream

by Livelikeyoulove222



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8539273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livelikeyoulove222/pseuds/Livelikeyoulove222
Summary: Mark Tuan is in love with Park Jinyoung. He just doesn't know how to tell him, or anyone. What happens when he can't hide it anymore?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There are some homophobic slurs will be included in this work. Not too many but if that bothers you, just be warned they are there.

Mark woke up when it was still dark outside, far too early seeing as his alarm hadn’t gone off yet. Jackson shifted beside him on his mat in their shared room, but other than that all Mark heard was silence. 

He had woken up from a bad dream, one he was having more and more often. No one knew he was having the dream and he wanted to keep it that way. He tried to hide his exhaustion, always chalked it up to just the busy schedules and not enough napping. In reality there was one dream that was driving him insane. 

It was always the same. GOT7 was celebrating a win from any one of the music shows. They were all happy and celebrating with each other backstage. Jinyoung would always be right by Mark’s side. Once things quiet down, it always leads to Mark and Jinyoung being alone together, Mark not being able to take his eyes off of Jinyoung. He would be caught staring, and at first Jinyoung just made a joke about it. But then Mark leans in to kiss Jinyoung’s plump lips; and that is where the dream takes a turn for the worse. Jinyoung backs away, a disgusted look on his face. Tells Mark he isn’t like that, like some queer. Jinyoung runs away while Mark just stands in place in shock. Mark eventually makes his way back to the dorm, hoping to just be able to find some peace in his room. He comes back to six judgmental stares, and all his belongings packed in bags. The manager appears and says that Jinyoung informed them of Mark’s “condition” and was no longer on the team due to how uncomfortable it made the rest of the group. No one stood up for Mark, not even Jackson. Mark just stands there in shock. and then moves forward to get the bags. When he does, all six move back as if afraid to catch whatever Mark has. JB becomes impatient and yells “Stop taking so long and get out of here you disgusting fag!” And that is usually around the time Mark wakes up, either then or when Jinyoung roughly shoves, literally shoves, him out of the door. In truth, Mark knew why he kept having this dream. He was in love Jinyoung. He just couldn’t tell him, or anyone for that matter. Too much was at stake to throw it all away, especially when he knew Jinyoung did not feel the same way for him.

 

This has been going on for a few weeks now. Mark has done his best to act normal, but ever since the dream began, he hasn’t been able to be 100% himself around Jinyoung. This hasn’t gone unnoticed but the others just figured it was something they both needed to deal between the two of them. Mark doesn’t miss the confusion or the hurt looks he gets from Jinyoung whenever he shies away from skinship, or finds a way to sit as far from him as possible at fan meets, in the van, on the plane, etc. 

Knowing sleep wasn’t going to come to him, Mark quietly got up and left his shared room with Jackson so he wouldn’t wake Jackson earlier than necessary. He put on a jacket, slipped on some shoes, and quietly left the dorm. What he didn’t notice, had never noticed, was Jinyoung watching him leave from the doorway of his room with a frown on his face. 

Mark would walk early in the mornings when he couldn’t sleep. No one was out yet so he didn’t have to worry about fans or cameras. He would just walk, listening to some music and then would make his way back to the dorm, careful to come home quietly so as not to alert anyone to his absence. 

When he shuffled in this time though, Jinyoung was awake. He was sitting on the couch, two steaming mugs in front of him. Mark just stood with wide eyes, staring. 

“Mark-hyung. Come sit.” Jinyoung called to him quietly. 

Mark took of his jacket, toed off his shoes, and slowly made his way to the couch. He sat a respectable distance from Jinyoung. Jinyoung raised a brow. 

“Spill.” is all Jinyoung says once Mark is settled. 

“Spill what?” Mark asks, acting as if everything that is happening is normal. 

“Why haven’t you been sleeping? Where do you go in the mornings? And most importantly, why do you act as if I am your least favorite person when once I thought I was one of your favorites?” Jinyoung says, his tone exasperated. 

“Just my mind racing, you know how it is Jinyoung-ah. Nothing for you to worry yourself over. And you are definitely not my least favorite person. Not even close.” Mark answered, still not moving any closer and not meeting Jinyoung’s gaze. 

“Well, I definitely feel like I am. I can’t even come close to you without you flinching anymore. What else am I supposed to think hyung? And I know you have been having bad dreams. Jackson tells me he hears you shifting around, and sometimes it sounds like you cry. Please, I just want to help.” 

“You can’t. No one can.” 

“Mark-hyung, you are not alone! Even if it isn’t me you want helping you, there are so many who want to! You can go to Jaebum-hyung, Jackson-hyung, or any one of us!”

“If I do that Jinyoung-ah, I will lose everyone. I can’t do that, I can’t lose you all.” Mark replied hanging his head, closing his eyes against the tears filling them. 

“You will never lose us, especially not me. No matter what.”

“You say that now. But you don’t know that for sure.” 

“What is so bad that I would walk away and turn my back on you?! Do you not trust me anymore Mark-hyung? I love you!” Jinyoung exclaimed in frustration.

“You wouldn’t if you knew…trust me. Please just drop it. I will do better.” Mark said quietly. 

“How do you know I wouldn’t?! You aren’t even giving me the chance to make my own decision! Plus, nothing could ever make me love you any less than I do now!!” Jinyoung exclaimed. 

Mark just hung his head, silent tears falling from his eyes. 

“What is going on out here?” Jaebum asked, voice still thick with sleep yet not losing any of the authority that came from being the leader. 

“Nothing, nothing at all. I thought that Mark was having some troubles lately so I wanted to help. Apparently that isn’t going to happen though.” Jinyoung said and got up from the couch. 

“I’m going to shower. I will help you wake any stragglers after I get out.” Jinyoung said to Jaebum before leaving the room.

“Mark-hyung? Are you ok? You know you can always come to me. Or any of us. We just want you to be ok.” Jaebum said, concern coating his words. 

“I know, and I appreciate that. Unfortunately this is something I need to deal with myself.” Mark said. 

“Fine, then deal with it in a way that doesn’t upset the other members, or cause issues within the team.” Jaebum replied, the leader in him coming out. 

“I am sorry, I will do better.” Mark replied.

“Ok, well that is all I can really ask of you. Go start getting ready. Oh, and can you wake Jackson for me? He fights you less than the rest of us.”

“I will do my best.” Mark said, trying a small smile before leaving back to his shared room. 

The rest of the day went as well as can be expected when there was undeniable tension between two members. 

Jinyoung did his best to avoid Mark when they weren’t being filmed or weren’t in front of their fans. He figured if Mark didn’t want him around him, then he wouldn’t force himself on him. 

The others noticed this of course but kept their mouths shut. Jaebum had said that it was between the two of them and they needed to work it out themselves. 

Mark was miserable. As much as he appreciated the space from Jinyoung, he wanted him close at all times. It made him extremely irritable. At that moment he was sitting with a sleeping Youngjae on his shoulder, glaring at his phone. 

So many fans had noticed the tension between him and Jinyoung. He should have known that no matter how hard they tried to act like everything was fine, eagle eyes IGOT7s would notice. 

Mark felt guilty for making them worry, and also for making the rest of the boys worry too. He knew Youngjae preferred to cuddle Jackson when he was sleepy, yet here he was, cuddling Mark in his own way to try to provide some sort of comfort. 

It was all too much and Mark felt the now familiar sting of tears. He gently shifted Youngjae onto Yugyeom’s shoulder and got up. 

They had no more events for the day so he asked the manager-hyung if he could head back to the dorms early. He claimed he was feeling ill. Something about his appearance must have looked off because the manager didn’t hesitate to send him back, ordering him to rest. 

Mark didn’t notice Jinyoung keeping an eye on him from a distance. He waited for the van carrying Mark to leave before begging to go home too. 

When Jinyoung entered the dorm, the first thing he did was look for Mark in his room. He found it empty. He heard a noise from the couch in the living room and what he found there broke his heart. 

Mark was asleep, tear trails running down his face. He wasn’t sleeping peacefully though. He was tossing his head back and forth and mumbling. 

Jinyoung rushed to the couch and took Mark’s face in his hands, softly caressing his cheeks.

“Mark-hyung, wake up. You are having another bad dream.” 

Mark’s eyes sprang open, and instantly tried to get away from Jinyoung. 

“Oh no you don’t. Not this time. Come with me.” Jinyoung said sternly. 

Mark was too exhausted to fight anymore and silently followed Jinyoung to his room.

“Did you wash yet?” Jinyoung asked Mark softly. 

Mark just shook his head no.

“Ok, you go get showered, then meet me back here. I will come to find you if you don’t.” 

Mark just stood there a moment in confusion, before he left to do as he was told. 

Once he came back, Jinyoung patted the space on his bed next to him. He had his laptop set up, an episode of their favorite T.V.show on the screen. 

“You look exhausted all the time. You barely eat and you haven’t smiled properly in weeks. I know you said I can’t help, and you are right. I can’t help when you don’t tell me what’s wrong. But I am done not being there for you. So you are going to come, lay down here with me and watch our show until you either fall asleep and finally get some proper rest or you finally feel like opening up to me. I miss you and I just want to be there for you. Please let me.” Jinyoung said, a single tear falling down his face.

Mark silently came and sat with him, wiping away the tear. 

“Don’t cry Jinyoungie.” Mark said before laying down and waiting for Jinyoung to do the same. 

Jinyoung silently lay next to Mark and took him into his arms. Surprisingly Mark didn’t fight it, even nuzzled his head into Jinyoung’s chest. 

They lay in silence, this time a comfortable one. Mark could tell Jinyoung wanted to say something, but was cautious to do so and ruin the peace they had found. 

“Just say whatever you need to say Jinyoungie. I can hear the gears turning in your head.” Mark murmured.

“I just really wish you would tell me what’s wrong. I just want to help you.”

“What if I told you that…you were what was bothering me…” Mark said quietly. He felt Jinyoung’s body tense below his head. He felt Jinyoung begin to shift to get up but Mark just wrapped his arm tighter around his waist.

“Wait, let me explain. Let me get this out while I still have the courage and you still want to be near me.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you that nothing you say will make me want to be away from you? Mark-hyung, you are one of the most special people in my life, if not the most special. Please stop talking like I am going to leave you.” Jinyoung said, voice sounding sad, fingers running through Mark’s hair. 

“What if I told you I love you?” Mark asked.

“I would say I love you too.” Jinyoung answered with no hesitation. 

“No, what if I meant I love you, like a man is supposed to love a woman…” Mark asked voice shaking. 

Silence was all he was met with. The hand stilled in his hair, and Jinyoung tensed all over again. 

“Oh.” was all Jinyoung said.

Mark just lay in panicked silence. 

“I-I don’t know what to say. Mark I- I think I may need some time.” 

Mark immediately lifted up off of Jinyoung.

“Y-yeah. That’s-that’s fine.” Mark replied, looking down at his hands.

“I-“ Jinyoung began before Mark interrupted.

“I said it’s fine. I shouldn’t have said anything. I kind of want to sleep now.” Mark said, still not looking at Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung paused for a moment longer but eventually got up. With one last look at Mark, he left to head back to his room. 

Mark lay down and turned to face the wall. He knew there was no way to hold back the tears and he didn’t want Jackson to see and ask questions he couldn’t answer.

Mark should have realized Jackson wouldn’t have to actually see the tears to know something was wrong. When Jackson finally made his way into their room after dinner and washing, he silently slid into Mark’s bed and pulled the older into his arms.

“Mark-hyung, what is going on with you lately, hmm? We are all so worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry anyone. It was just something that I thought I had to deal with on my own. My own secret. But that just seemed to cause even more problems.” Mark said, voice quiet. 

“Secrets can eat you alive if you let them.” 

“But if I told this secret I could lose everything and everyone. I decided to tell Jinoyoug; well he kind of gave me no choice. So I told him my secret, and then he said he thought he needed some time and left. So now I don’t know what to do.” 

“Jinyoung would never hurt you on purpose. He probably meant it when he said he needed some time to get his head together. Mark, what was the secret? I promise you I won’t leave you alone. But I think you need to let this out.” Jackson said, holding Mark even tighter, as if Mark was going to run away. 

Mark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It would be better for it to come from his mouth than from Jonyoung’s out of disgust. 

“Ok, you’re right. Could you get everyone else…I may as well just get it all out and only have to do it once.” 

With a quick kiss to the back of Mark’s head, Jackson went and got to gathering everyone into their shared room. 

Once Yugyeom, BamBam, Jaebum, Jackson, and Youngjae were all seated in the room, Mark took a deep breath. 

“Where is Jinyoung-hyung?” BamBam asked innocently. 

“He already heard what I am about to say. He asked for some time, and I am going to respect that. I ask that you all do that as well. Before I say what I brought you all in here to say to you, please know how much you all mean to me and how much I love what we do. If this changes anything about how you feel about me, please know how I feel for you will never change. 

Ok, so I know you have noticed something has been bothering me the last few days, or weeks actually. I have been too scared to tell you what it is, but it’s beginning to eat me up inside and it’s time to let you all know. So, here goes nothing….I…I’m gay. Or at least I think I am. Before you say anything, there is more. Part of the reason I was so scared to say anything is because I am in love. With someone in the band. I am in love with Jinyoung and I have been for a long time.” Mark finally finished closing his eyes tight, preparing himself for the backlash. 

“And you told Jinyoung all this?” Jaebum asked after a few moments of silence. 

Mark only nodded in response. He didn’t trust his voice anymore. 

The next thing Mark felt was a body slamming into his. Strong arms came around his neck and a face that was suspiciously wet found the crook of his neck. 

Mark brought his arms around the person, more shocked that it was Yugyeom than the reaction itself. Yugyeom was never one for showing affection. 

“Gyeomie, what’s all this?” Mark asked, rubbing his hand up and down his back soothingly. 

“How could you not know that we love you? I can’t stand the fact that you were so scared to tell us this. You are still our Mark-hyung. Nothing will change that! All I can think is that I don’t show you how much I love you! I promise I to do better!” Yugyeom said into Mark’s neck. 

Mark just smiled, tears filling his eyes. 

“Hey, it was all on me. None of you did anything wrong.” Mark said. 

Once Yugyeom finally released Mark, he was tackled by Youngjae. 

“Please always come to me when you are feeling down.” Youngjae said. 

“Ok” Mark chuckled. 

Jaebum came and sat down next to Mark and put his arm around his shoulders. 

“You really make me feel like an awful leader if you didn’t feel like you could come to me with your troubles. I am sorry, I will do better in my leader responsibilities.” 

Mark just leaned into Jaebum, silently letting him know he didn’t blame him for anything. 

“When did you tell Jinyoung?” Yugyeom asked.

“Earlier today. He wouldn’t drop it until I told him. I think I really shocked him, he asked for some time. It isn’t the worst way he could have reacted so I am going to take some comfort in that. I mean I know its a lot to take in; your male best friend telling you he’s in love with you? I can’t really blame him.” Mark said with a sad smile. 

“Ok guys, it’s late. Let’s get some rest. Jackson, come room with Youngjae and I. I think Mark needs some time alone.” Jaebum said. 

Slowly everyone filtered out of the room, and Mark was left alone with his thoughts. 

Jinyoung didn’t react the way Mark may have wished, but he didn’t react in the worst way possible either. Mark tried to find solace in that. He fell asleep with bittersweet tears on his face. Some in sadness and fear of what Jinyoung may feel after some time, and some in happiness that he didn’t lose the rest of the members. He fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep. 

A little while later, Mark heard the door open. He turned over and squinted at the doorway.

“Jacks? Did you forget something?” Mark asked, voice thick with a mix of tears and sleep. 

“You’ve been crying.” a voice that definitely not Jackson’s replied.

Jinyoung.

“I’m-I’m fine.” Mark said, shocked at Jinyoung’s presence. 

“Move over.” Jinyoung says quietly, lifting the covers.

Mark moved over, and just looked at Jinyoung. Mark tried to stay on his side of the bed as much as possible, but Jinyoung didn’t seem to like that. 

Jinyoung reached out for Mark and pulled him into his arms. Mark tensed up, not sure what to do with himself. 

“Mark, please. Just. Just let me hold you.” 

Mark relaxed into Jinyoung’s arms, but his heart still raced. 

“I know I didn’t handle earlier as well as I should have, as well as you deserved me to. What you told me was a shock, but for the bad reasons that are probably swimming around your head right now. I don’t care that you are gay, Mark. What kind of person, what kind of friend would I be if it made any difference? I was so saddened, and a little hurt, that you felt that was something you needed to hide from me. And then you say you are in love with me. Me of all people. I just didn’t understand it. Then I started to think about my feelings towards you. I got confused. I didn’t want to add my confusion to your list of worries so I asked for some time to think. Want to know what I came to find out from all that thinking?” Jinyoung asked, bring his hand to run his fingers through Mark’s hair. 

Mark only nodded, face hidden in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck. 

“I realized that I am in love with you too.” 

Mark shot up into a sitting position and stared wide-eyed at Jinyoung. 

“Jinyoung, please. Don’t say things you don’t mean just because you don’t want me to be hurt or sad.” Mark said quietly, a hint of hope in his eyes. 

“Mark-hyung. You know I would never do that to you. I thought about us, and how you make me feel. I love all the members, you know I do. Just like you do. But with you, I felt a different kind of love. You were home, safety. The other boys are a brotherly type of love. I realized I loved cuddling you so much because I loved the feeling of you holding me. I kiss your cheeks and you kiss mine, and I can’t help but wonder what kissing your lips will feel like. I don’t like being away from you, even just for a few hours. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last before I fall asleep. I love you Mark Tuan, so very much.” 

Mark just sat in shock for a few moments before pulling Jinyoung up to a seated position as well. 

“I’m going to kiss you now. If you don’t want me to, say it now.” Mark said, searching Jinyoung’s face for any sign of hesitation. 

“Please.” is all Jinyoung said. 

Mark leaned in, slowly. Jinyoung brought a hand to Mark’s cheek. 

Finally, their lips touched. Soft and sweet, filled with love and warmth. 

When they finally broke apart, they both had soft smiles on their faces. 

Silently, Mark lay down and held his arms open. Jinyoung easlily fell into them, head resting on Mark’s chest. They fell asleep to each others heart beats.

And if Jaebum came to wake Mark the next morning and the sight of Jinyoung in his arm’s had him give them a half hour longer of sleep, no one had to know.

**Author's Note:**

> First GOT7 writing, please be kind!


End file.
